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11 Things I Learnt Getting Naked At Maslin Beach

Fritz Magazine - 11 Things I Learnt Getting Naked At Maslins Beach
Photos: Katie Spain

Would you get your kit off in front of a bunch of strangers?

I always said no. Not a chance. It’s not that I’m a prude but public displays of nudity scare the bejesus out of me. These jiggly bits are for certain eyes only.

A recent encounter with 80-year-old artist Evelyn Roth that made me re-think my attitude.

“Going to the nudie beach is wonderful,” Evelyn said as we sat on her Maslin Beach patio, overlooking the unclad beach. “Don’t be nervous. You’ll love it.”

Unfortunately, we don’t all find joy in dropping our dacks but the old darling’s zest for life (in all shapes and sizes) gave me the confidence to give it a shot.

Luckily I didn’t have to go far.

Nudist beaches are a place where pants are dropped, knickers removed and bare bodies glisten beneath the sun. South Australia has one of the best: Maslin Beach. A 45-minute drive. In the name of body confidence, I decided to try it out. As a first timer, the idea was petrifying.

“What if I get burnt? What if I freak out? What if it’s full of perves? Or worse… this is Adelaide, what if I see someone I know?’

None of the above happened. But it was a learning experience.

And in the name of spreading the nudie love, here’s a few things I learnt about what to do (and what not to do) when you’re getting your kit off.

 

1. Choose Your Approach Wisely

You can get to Maslin’s two ways. The walk from the car park on the north side of the beach is through a stretch of sand frequented by families and swimmers of the bathing suit-clad kind. Keep your kit on until you pass a big white sign telling you it’s okay to get starkers. Alternatively, approach the beach from above the cliffs at the south end of the beach. It’s quite a climb. What goes down, must come up.

Fritz Magazine - 11 Things I Learnt Getting Naked At Maslins Beach

2. Take a Partner in Crime

It’s amazing how many mates offered to accompany me on my first nudist jaunt. Especially blokes. “Need a photographer? Want me to hold your hand? You’ll need someone to rub in all that sunscreen.” All offers were accompanied by a wink and a laugh. Take someone you trust. I chose a trusted pal to come along as a wind block, protector, and helping hand when the fear got too much.

 

3. Don’t Expect to Be There Alone

It was 1pm on a 30+ degree day but the number of naked bodies was surprising (should have thought it better and gone at 4am). Maslin Beach has a dedicated following. They walk, swim, sunbake, and stand around in circles chatting – all starkers. If you’re hoping to fly under the radar and score a secret spot all to yourself you’re dreaming, darlings. The south end of the beach (right around near the cliffs) is said to be the ‘seedier’ end. You have been warned. It’s a total wang fest.

Fritz Magazine - 11 Things I Learnt Getting Naked At Maslins Beach

 

4. Pack the Essentials

My beach savvy mate had it sorted. Towels: check. Shade tent: check. Snacks and plenty of water (there’s no kiosk here folks): check. Sunglasses (your eyes are one thing you’re permitted to cover): check. A portable sound system: check. Dutch courage: check. And don’t forget the bloody sunscreen. Your sensitive spots don’t see the sun. Nobody needs burnt nipples or an angry red willy thank you very much.

 

5. Be Brave

I’m not going to lie – joining the great unclad was difficult. It took half an hour to shed my dress, bra and knickers. Even then I lay on my towel like a shy lizard – tits toward the sand and bum on show but not much else. I didn’t think I was going to be able to walk from our shady little haven to the water’s edge and sent my pal off to swim by himself. An hour (and a beer) later he gently pushed me. “Come for a swim? C’mon darling, you can do this.” At that moment a man with a beer belly nearly as big as my car ambled past. “If he can do it, I can,” I thought and dragged my trembling white torso towards the sea. Once in the water, the elation is indescribable. It’s kind of like being born again: a sense of childlike freedom and wonder rare in this day and age.

 

6. Get Nude

This sounds like a no-brainer but you’re at a nudist beach. It’s just plain weird to stroll around clothed when a beach-full of peers are in their birthday suits. There is an exception. As you make your way from your car to your chosen patch of sand, clothing is fine. After all, no one wants to catch their wobbly bits between their tent poles.

 

7. Be Kind to Yourself

It’s okay to be nervous. Nudity is a weird one. We’re all born starkers and spent most our childhood years unperturbed about our pink bits. Somewhere along the line, society told us to cover up, no exceptions. Naked means sex. Sex means dirty.

Public nudity is labelled as ‘indecent exposure’, streakers are slapped on the wrist by police officers, breastfeeding mums are tutted at in shopping centres, and the sight of nipples on Instagram sends the complainers of the world into a tizz. But at the end of the day, we’re all naked below these rags of ours. You’ve got this.

Fritz Magazine - 11 Things I Learnt Getting Naked At Maslins Beach

 

8. Don’t Stare

It’s hard not to. Really, it is. Especially when you’re surrounded by tits and balls. It’s important to exercise respect when it comes to inspecting the torsos around you. Smiling at passers by is okay. Ogling what Mama gave them is not. Keep your eyes to yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. When an old guy bends over to adjust his towel and you get an eyeful of bollocks you’ll certainly wish you had.

 

9. Don’t Get Snap Happy

Keep that iPhone/camera in your bag. 1) It’ll get sandy. 2) People want to be able to relax in their nudity without worrying about a paparazzi-like-attack on their nether regions. Keep the dick pics away from social media, too.

 

10. Save the Hanky Panky for Home

Getting our kit off is generally reserved for sexy time with that special someone, however, a public beach is not the place for a sex fest. Watching your partner frolic naked in the ocean has the potential to unleash certain (ahem) urges, but save the love juice for home, people.

Fritz Magazine - 11 Things I Learnt Getting Naked At Maslins Beach

 

11. Revel in the Aftermath

“I’ll be back.” I was surprised when the words popped out of my mouth. It’s difficult to explain just how good it feels to face a fear, shed inhibitions and throw vanity and doubt to the wind. There’s a serious lesson to be learnt at Maslin Beach and on unclad stretches of sand across the globe. Every body is different. Every body is beautiful. Under the cover of clothing and darkness this is sometimes easy to forget.

 

Ever get your kit off at Maslins? Would you dare? Let us know in the comments, below.

9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Txx

    09/01/2017 at 11:44 am

    My wife an I bared all 30 years ago at Maslin’s in our late teens, these days we go to the largest nudist resort in the world. Cap D’Agde in France can be over 20,000 people on a summers day. Beach, pool parties, foam parties, night clubs, restaurants, supermarkets, sexy clothes shops, hotels, you name it, all naked! you think Maslin’s is a challenge, you need to go at least once. We met an Australian tourist, he heard our accent, we were lauching at him as he was on the phone trying to tell his mates where he was and what was going on, they didn’t believe him. I admit it’s a little hard to believe, but it exists. We had a good laugh after his call talking about the place and trying to explain it to friends back home, no way. After a few days it became very liberating, people were all friendly, all ages, shapes and sizes. The beach in some areas is so crowded that you are lucky to find a spot to put down a towel. It is a great feeling swimming naked, highly recommended.

  2. Liz

    10/01/2017 at 8:30 am

    Yes our lovely beach is wonderful and the experience of being able to enjoy the sea nude is very liberating. However this whole beautiful experience is being ruined for some by the very overt sexual activities of others. Last time my daughter was there the guys were queuing up at a tent set up for sexual acts. She and I are not prudes but isn’t there any consideration for the fact that this is still a family beach?

    • Nicole

      01/04/2018 at 8:21 pm

      I visited the beach today & it was fabulous. The water was incredible & the men were very nice. Ladies you have nothing to worry about. I didn’t find it uncomfortable at all.

  3. Jenny Tuck

    10/01/2017 at 10:05 am

    Good for you Katie and why ever not ineed ? Fab article, well written, as ever ! Yes, of course been to Maslins ! Aside from the nude beach thing, it is a beautiful little piece of South Australian coastline ! Having come from UK and raised holidaying in Europe, topless beaches were everywhere, so ‘tits akimbo’ was quite accepted. So much so that when I arrived in Oz and finding our first abode in Henley Beach I headed for the surf ! Down went the towel and off came the bikini top ! Well needless to say that within half an hour a ‘so called professional photographer’ – NOT – had arrived, announcing he was doing a feature on topless bathing and could he photograph me ! The answer was ‘no’ and within 15 minutes I was ‘apprehended’ by a council beach patrol person, who announced that what I was doing was illegal and to cover up quick ! 12,000 miles I’d come to the land of ‘bronzed bodies, surf and beach’ ! Needless to say, I was dissapointed and rather surprised. The beach nazzi informed me there was a place for this kind of ‘behaviour’ an hour’s drive away, called Maslins Beach ! I picked up my gear and headed south, only to find the most gorgeous little cove at Maslins. There was a friendliness, a respect and an ease about the place, with people who had obviously gone way beyond their programme of limitation, shame, learnt inferiority and fear. Yes, Katie, it takes courage to ‘liberate’ ones self and that feeling of swimming naked is absolutely divine, I agree ! Give it a go people !

  4. Monica

    20/04/2018 at 11:18 am

    Hi All, I read this article & thought why not give it a go. I drove down and it was busy. Plenty of people getting naked. I found my piece of sand, stripped off & went straight in for a swim. A man followed me in and was a bit too much for me. Clearly he was looking for sex. So be careful. Luckily an older man came in & the other guy left. Phew! Laying on the beach with the sun hitting my skin was lovely. The older man asked if I was game to walk the beach and I did, it was terrific. Very liberating. A couple was clearly having sex with about 10 men watching them. Oh god I thought. I just kept walking as it was not why I came to the beach. It was an experience indeed. Not sure if I’ll return

  5. Paul drechsler

    04/05/2018 at 5:08 am

    I went nude at maslins,a few years ago never again . I got assaulted, by a perv, so that has really put me of.It is a shame it is a good feeling, having the wind and Sun on my skin.

    • Penny

      02/06/2018 at 3:29 pm

      That is terrible. Sorry to hear about your experience

  6. Ausbare

    20/06/2018 at 3:15 pm

    I have been to Maslin beach and other nudist beaches. I do not care what other people do as long as I can not hear them or smell them, if the are having sex I do not have to look. Some nudists sound a lot like textiles condemning others for their actions that should have no affect on them.

    • Emily

      30/06/2018 at 10:30 am

      I love Maslins it’s so beautiful to be able to swim naked, beyond liberating. Feeling the sun on your skin is a boost of great energy. I head down when I can & find people very friendly. Yes some look, but gosh it’s hard not too. I don’t mind at all, if I did I wouldn’t go.
      It’s great going for a stroll naked, I would recommend it to anyone.
      You can if you want meet some nice people who enjoy the same thing you do, being naked. Or if you would prefer to be alone you can do that too.
      Come and swim naked it will reenergise you xxx

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