Sport

600,000 South Australians Celebrate Three-Hour Power Failure

The all-conquering Adelaide Crows smashed Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval on Sunday. All of the talk was about how bad the Power were – but the Crows were awesome and a Grand Final beckons.

Rugged-up Adelaide Crows supporters braved the elements to watch their team humiliate Port Adelaide at sodden Adelaide Oval on Sunday night, kicking 18-22 (130) to 7-4 (46) in the most one-sided Showdown in history.

Crows players looked confident before they even entered the ground, while several Port players set alarm bells ringing by wearing long-sleeved jumpers (some wore two).

Port Adelaide’s banner ridiculed Crows fans, who showed up in numbers despite it being good weather for ducks. What could possibly go wrong?

Mark Ricciuto made thousands of Port fans turn down the sound on the TV and stick the radio on. Our mate Danny was all over it.

The Crows dominated from the first bounce, playing tough, hard football, while the Power couldn’t even get the ball in their forward line. Eddie Betts, who had his appendix out a few weeks ago, warmed the cockles of Crows’ fans hearts with some unbelievable goals, including a massive banana seemingly in a nod to the poor behaviour of a Port supporter in a previous Showdown.

Robbie Gray tried hard all night, but the other 21 players all had a shocker and would have had a better impact on the game if they had all pulled up a bar stool at the Queen’s Head Hotel and got stuck into it.

The crowd gave it to Charlie Dixon, who is no good in the wet.

Port were a joke, so the Crows faithful flicked the switch on the Power jokes.

Then there were the comparisons with grocery items.

Port Adelaide fans went home early the previous week, only for the Power to pinch the game against St Kilda in the dying seconds. Kane Cornes gave permission for them to leave early again.

It was the worst possible day to be a streaker – but that didn’t stop one pissed Port fan from jumping the fence and running onto the field.

The Power were terrible, but the Crows were magnificent and are looking like a team that can win the premiership. Order the ticker tape.

Particularly pleasing is the form of young Hugh Greenwood. Every premiership team has an x factor and he could be it.

Not a good day for the pear.

Dad jokes aren’t confined to dads, as Sally Sara proved.

Now, about that banner… it made Port look ridiculous and social media unleashed a barrage of humiliation.

And yes, the Chardonnay flowed.

Fark, fark, fark! That’s a $55 Chardonnay!

Port supporters can buy a six-pack of Jacob’s Creek Shiraz for that, with a bit left over for a Double Quarter Pounder and a pair of moccasins.

Yep, that would solve everything It was always going to happen…

The Crows play Essendon at Etihad Stadium on Saturday night and should have no trouble beating them.

Port Adelaide play the improving Collingwood at Adelaide Oval on Sunday and no one in their right mind would back the Power. They can’t be trusted.

What should Port Adelaide have on their next banner – nothing? Let us know in the comments, below.

Smiley Fritz

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