Reversing The Food Chain: Crows Versus Cats

As the AFL preliminary finals banter hits overdrive ahead of tonight’s bash at Adelaide Oval, the social media LOLs keep coming. Here’s a few that had us sniggering into our chardonnay.

Don’t know about you, but at Fritz, we like to hear a dog’s opinion on whether 22 birds will beat 22 cats.

However, it’s hard to know who to trust – the pooch has got it wrong before.

You’ve got to feel for Geelong – they couldn’t play at their beloved Simonds Stadium against the Tigers.

Instead of playing at home, the poor Cats had to play within their state at the MCG – Simonds capacity is 36,000 and the game was expected to draw 80,000 (it ended up drawing over 90,000).

So when the Crows clash at Adelaide Oval sold out quickly, many took to the web to vent their rage – on the innocent Crows.

As South Australians, we are willing to listen to the Cats’ woes, but there’s no way we can claim to understand what they have to go through; how could we possibly understand what it’s like to travel to a stadium that isn’t our home ground to play a final, despite the fact we dominated throughout the season and finished with a ladder position to justify finals’ advantage?

We can’t.

Indeed, it’s strange the Cats complained about the MCG venue, given they’re statistically quite good away from home:

Despite these numbers, many Crows supporters would rather face off against the Cats, than the Swans.

After a sloppy start to the season, the Swans recovered from their 2016 Grand Final loss, became graceful and seemed unstoppable for a while.

So, sayonara Swans. We’re better off without you. We’re pretty much into the final already, right?

Everyone is curious. How will the Crows rest-week affect the game? Will they enter full of pep and energy, while the Cats mope out with bags under their eyes, all their chips spent?

Or will Geelong feel in touch after their win against the Swans, dominating again through muscle memory? It’s best to take precautions. Fans have been embracing their role as the 19th man, doing what they can online to ensure the Crows succeed.

Their main target has been Dangerfield, the ex-Crow we can neither forgive nor forget.

Perrenial shit stirrers ShitAdelaide have been pushing the hashtag #fatboydangerfield, in a scheme that perpetuates the lack of forgiveness towards the eloper – and perhaps intends to psych him out too.

This above image seems rife for psychoanalysis. Perhaps we’re ripping into Danger because we’re afraid of his potential? Making fun of the thing we fear to make it more palatable?


Although everyone is feeling a bit tense.

It’s unnerving Mitch McGovern is out with hammy troubles. It’s a rough break for the marking giant, who had trouble with his opposite hammy early in the season. Thankfully the human body only has two hamstrings – otherwise, this could go on forever.

Towards the end of the season proper, he was on a roll, kicking more bags than you take home in your boot from Foodland. That’s possibly because the opposition was preoccupied on shutting down veterans Taylor Walker and Eddie Betts.

To compensate for the loss of McGovern, Sloane returns this round after his appendix strife.

Turns out, not only is the appendix pointless, it actively threatens to sabotage finals footy.

Even with the bravest in the comp back, two weeks is a long, long wait. It begets anxiety with a capital A.

Josh Jenkins himself got in on the chirp:

“There’d be nothing better than beating him and reminding him that perhaps he should have stuck around with us and he could be a Brownlow Medallist and a premiership player.” Strong words from the forward.

Dangerfield chimed back, a little more moderately, saying “I won’t give him any ham this week. There might be something else in store.”

Ignoring the fact this comment referred to a previous interaction between the Jenk and Geelong’s Harry Taylor, we thank Dangerfield for not bringing Victorian ham into our state.

Despite Port’s heart-breaking elimination, the healthy banter between SA’s two sides rages on.

However, some Power supporters have been able to look past the hurt, such as Twitter user @Ports1870. They kindly suggested this song for Crows supporters, to the tune of ‘Soul Man’ by the Blues Brothers:

A lot of energy has gone into this rendition, which is perhaps due to their elation at the retention of Ken Hinkley.

If you want to get to the game, but don’t already have tickets, you’ve ppppprobably left it a little late. It was tense enough trying to snatch one a few days ago.

Or is it too late?

Scalpers have been flogging tickets online for over three times the value. But be warned – if the dealer isn’t authorised, entry isn’t guaranteed. For a safer bet, hit up your local or get the tinnies in and make a date with the couch. Hoepfully they’ll be playing our tune come the final siren. No pressure lads.

If you have any banter to add to the conversation, comment below.

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